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Because making friends in your 20’s is hard and people suck! The end.
Just kidding! But no seriously, a common trend I’ve noticed among peers my age is that none of us seem to have any friends, especially us girls.
Making friends in your 20’s seems so much harder than before. Everyone’s got their own schedule or their head buried in their phone, and we’re all a little bit antisocial.
Like I mentioned in the beginning, I don’t have friends either so this is definitely not the blog post to read to learn how to make friends. I’m still trying to figure that out myself. Besides, it’s a waste of time for me to give you that obvious list of solutions like befriending coworkers and classmates, because most likely you’ve already tried that.
I’m pretty much just laying out the reasons why I don’t have any friends in hopes that you can learn from me or at the least give you something to relate to. Let’s go!
3 Common Reasons Why None Of Us Have Any Friends: A 22 Year-Old’s Prospective
1. You Ended Friendships With All Of Your Old Friends Because They Were Toxic (and thank God for that!)
Protecting your peace is a lifestyle choice we all should get behind. Friends are supposed to add joy and positivity to your life. Of course any friendship has its ups, downs, and disagreements but for the most part you should feel better after hanging out with a friend, not worse.
But nowadays it seems like a lot of friendships are the complete opposite. They’re unsupportive, kind of jealous, and lowkey haters. The worst part is we make excuses and keep them around just because it’s been a long time. Sometimes you’ve got to realize that not everybody is your real friend. In fact, sometimes your best friends are really your greatest enemies.
I don’t really have any real friends. The few friends I did have are either unreliable or were always doing things to tear me down so I realized they probably weren’t my friends after all. It was time to start distancing myself and setting boundaries. And suddenly one-by-one they all disappeared.
Sound familiar? Good for you!
I know it sucks not having friends but it sucks a lot more to have friends that aren’t actually on your side. If your “friends” are mad that you started setting reasonable boundaries to protect your mental health then they were just keeping you around for convenience. They’re actually upset that you’re not allowing them to abuse your kindness and walk all over you anymore.
Their loss! You don’t need that.
2. You’re No Longer Forced Into Friendships
In high school we had to make friend to survive. We were practically living there every day, 8+ hours a day. If you didn’t have anybody to interact with, good luck. It’s kind of that same mindset of having to join a gang to be protected by the gang.
But now nobody is really forced into anything.
Everybody pretty much goes their own way and does their own thing. Some people are working full time career jobs, some are students, some don’t leave their house, and some moved across the world.
Ok cool, well maybe you can at least make some friends at one of these places. There’s got to be plenty of 20 year old’s looking to make friends in college, right?
Ehhh. I don’t know where you guys go to school but nobody really talks in class anymore. As soon as class is over everyone just immediately leaves. Even during breaks the classroom is silent. Everyone just gets on their phone or goes to sit in their car. So where do we make friends? Well, that’s the next problem.
3. You Don’t Know Where To Go To Meet Friends
The first step to making friends in your 20s is finding people with friendship potential. But where should you go to meet people? Besides school, work, and the club there aren’t many definite hang out spots for people this age.
People always suggest the gym for making friends in your 20s who are like minded and have the same hobbies as you.
Umm – huh?? Is it just me or does nobody talk to new people at the gym? Everyone either already has a gym buddy or has on their headphones and avoid eye contact at all cost. And I definitely don’t wanna be that person- you know the one. The one who keeps talking to you and gets those nasty eye rolls as you have to pull your headphones down for time number eight. Yea- I don’t think annoying the person to death is the best way to make friends in your 20’s.
The Truth: Making Friends In Your 20’s Is Just Hard
The truth is that making friends in your 20’s is just hard no matter what. Look on the bright side, it’s obviously not just you because we all seem to be struggling with this. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how nice you are or how hard you try, it just doesn’t work out. Maybe it’s not the right time. Maybe it’s not the right friendship. And even though it’s discouraging you can’t give up trying.
That’s right! You’ve got to keep putting yourself out there. You’re definitely not going to make any friends being locked up in your room all day. It’s ok to spend time alone and accept the current circumstance of having no friends but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying to make new ones.
The right friends will come to you when it’s time and they will be worth the wait. In the meantime, keep being yourself and they’ll gravitate toward you.
And remember you always have a friend here at JAGT 🙂
